Since the pandemic, every handshake seems to carry a hint of reunion—and sometimes, a faint taste of hesitation.

But tell me this: have you ever actually received a proper handshake lesson? And more importantly… do you know what your handshake reveals about you, before you even say a word?

Mine dates back to 1967. My father stood me in front of a mirror and had me practice what felt like a ballet choreography of social grace. He taught me the H.A.N.D. method—the musts of a proper handshake:

H – Healthy posture: standing upright, facing the other person, shoulders relaxed, one foot slightly forward.
A – Right angle: arm bent at 90 degrees, thumb upright.
N – Navigate with a smile: warm welcome, steady and confident eye contact.
D – Develop connection: right hand, palm to palm, meeting at the thenar eminence (the base of the thumb), followed by two firm shakes from the elbow.

That said, at five years old, shaking hands felt just as strange as trying to walk in high heels for the very first time. My father, however, ended the session with a proud smile: “Remember, you are a Blais.” It felt as though he had just placed an invisible crown on my head. My very first etiquette lesson… and my first initiation into the art of projecting confidence. Thank you, Dad!

Since then, I’ve given and received thousands of handshakes. Some firm, others hesitant… and many—let’s be honest—memorable for all the wrong reasons. Drawn from my book Project Confidence and Credibility, here is my ranking of the most common handshakes, along with practical solutions to ensure positively memorable exchanges.

THE CRUSHER

Fingers grip far too tightly, sometimes causing pain.
Message received: aggressive or power-seeking.

Giver: adjust your grip to match the other person’s; if they’re smaller, loosen your hold.
Receiver: subtly release pressure by slightly spreading your fingers.

“IT’S GONE!”

You miss the target—the hand veers left or right. Awkwardness guaranteed.

Giver or receiver: reset with humor—“Shall we try again? I’m sure we can do better.”

THE POLITICIAN’S SANDWICH

The left hand wraps over the handshake. Can feel warm—or intrusive.

Giver: use sparingly; only when expressing sincere gratitude or sympathy, such as offering condolences.
Receiver: observe the authenticity behind the gesture and the accompanying body language.

THE BACK-PATTER

A cousin of the sandwich: the little pat on the back.

Giver: avoid unless you know the person well.
Receiver: don’t be irritated—it’s often meant as appreciation or an attempt to put you at ease.

THE LIMP & CLAMMY HAND

Moist palm, limp fingers. For many, the worst handshake of all. Often signals nervousness or lack of confidence.

Giver:
Control moisture—apply a clear antiperspirant or alcohol-based hand gel before the meeting.
Be prepared—keep a tissue in your pocket and discreetly press it before extending your hand.
Mattify if needed—a light dusting of powder on the tissue can absorb excess moisture.

Receiver: read the nonverbal cues—blushing, tension, perspiration. Don’t judge based on one handshake alone. Be empathetic.

THE PUMP

The handshake that never stops pumping. Often a mix of nervousness and excessive enthusiasm—just like my grandfather Roméo. 😉

Giver: two shakes are plenty.
Receiver: gently loosen your fingers and take back control.

Every handshake tells a small story—a serialized novel you can read in three seconds. So the real question is this: what if our success in business began simply with the way we extend our hand?

Want to refine the art of networking within your team? Julie Blais Comeau, etiquette and professional communication expert, puts her expertise at your service through interactive, dynamic, and fully customized workshops. Whether the goal is to build confidence, master first impressions, or shine socially and professionally, she supports you according to your objectives and your participants’ needs: julie@etiquettejulie.com.

Julie Blais Comeau is a leading authority on etiquette in Quebec and across Canada, widely recognized and appreciated. A sought-after media collaborator, engaging speaker, and inspiring author, Julie heads etiquettejulie.com, a company devoted to the art of interpersonal relationships. Discover how she can help you shine in every aspect of your life. With Julie as your guide, you’ll learn to navigate every situation with confidence and elegance—while staying true to yourself.

Published January 23, 2026 mitsoumagazine translated © Julie Blais Comeau